After all of the recent attention to the "Real Housewives" of several different county's across the US, I have a bone to pick.
I feel as though these "real housewives" don't have a clue what being a housewife is all about. A few differences I have noticed are:
I'm not on TV, but I do make payments on one.
I don't have a housekeeper, but I have a good vacuum cleaner from Target and get my cleaning supplies from the dollar store. I have time to clean at the beginning and end of every day.
I don't have a nanny to raise my children, but I do pay for quality child care and manage to keep them fed, bathed, clothed, entertained, played with, loved on and alive for a couple hours every morning, in the evening and all weekend long.
I don't have a chef, but my coupons often buy me some really fancy things to cook after I pick up the kids from school, and also things to put in our lunch boxes.
I don't have a personal trainer, but my kids motivate me to be healthy so that I can be around for them. Not financially around, but in their lives around.
When my husband is "away on business" (at football practice/games) I don't go out on the town for drinks after my long hard week of managing all of my assistants. I stay at home and let the boys fall asleep in my bed after we eat pizza and popcorn for dinner!
I work 40 hours per week at a job outside of the home in addition to my "real job" and also manage to have several friends that I stay in contact with. I plan my own vacation, and fold my own laundry-after I wash it myself. All of this on about 7 inconsistent hours of sleep.
Seriously, I don't know how these poor women manage all that they do. Whatever it is that they do? Reality schmality.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Lies
Lying is built in from birth. All kids start lying to get out of trouble, to get what they want, or for sport. But parents lie too. I do.
Yesterday I went to pick Gus up from school and asked him to get all of his things out of his cubby. He came back with his blanket, his lunchbox, and a long stuffed blue lizard. I asked, is that your lizard? Yes. Where did you get it? From the prizebox. You got THAT lizard from the prizebox? Yes. (the prize box is a shoe size box) Let me ask Ms. Lisa. No. Ms. Lisa, did Gus get this lizard from the prizebox? No he did not-that belongs to someone else. Gus, you need to put that back where it goes. Why did you tell me it was yours? Oh, I guess it got down out of his cubby and walked into mine. ALL LIES!
Then on the way home he asked me if Uncle and Abbey were at Mammies house. No, not today buddy. They're at their house. Pulled up at Mammie's and there's Uncle and Abbey.
Mommy, I don't want any vegetables on my plate. Son, all you have is corn, beans and burger...there are no vegetables on your plate.
And my best lie of all. As I took Simon to his first day of school with his big brother this morning, I coached him on how to be a good big brother and this is the lie I told. Did you know that Uncle is my big brother and when we were in school, he would protect me and not let anyone hurt me. He was always good and kind to me because I was his little sister. He never wanted anything bad to happen to me. And you're just like Uncle aren't you-a good big brother? And he bought my lie and smiled:)
Now, part of this wasn't a lie, as I NOW have a good big brother...but the younger years...not so much!
Yesterday I went to pick Gus up from school and asked him to get all of his things out of his cubby. He came back with his blanket, his lunchbox, and a long stuffed blue lizard. I asked, is that your lizard? Yes. Where did you get it? From the prizebox. You got THAT lizard from the prizebox? Yes. (the prize box is a shoe size box) Let me ask Ms. Lisa. No. Ms. Lisa, did Gus get this lizard from the prizebox? No he did not-that belongs to someone else. Gus, you need to put that back where it goes. Why did you tell me it was yours? Oh, I guess it got down out of his cubby and walked into mine. ALL LIES!
Then on the way home he asked me if Uncle and Abbey were at Mammies house. No, not today buddy. They're at their house. Pulled up at Mammie's and there's Uncle and Abbey.
Mommy, I don't want any vegetables on my plate. Son, all you have is corn, beans and burger...there are no vegetables on your plate.
And my best lie of all. As I took Simon to his first day of school with his big brother this morning, I coached him on how to be a good big brother and this is the lie I told. Did you know that Uncle is my big brother and when we were in school, he would protect me and not let anyone hurt me. He was always good and kind to me because I was his little sister. He never wanted anything bad to happen to me. And you're just like Uncle aren't you-a good big brother? And he bought my lie and smiled:)
Now, part of this wasn't a lie, as I NOW have a good big brother...but the younger years...not so much!
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Raising People
Being a parent is challenging on so many levels. The biggest challenge I have is the fact that I am partly responsible for raising people. Little people that will become big people and hopefully contribute to society..and not with community service.I'm overwhelmed with the idea that I am an influence on someones (2 someones) personalities. However sometimes I think that dusty is mostly responsible given the personality traits of Gus & Simon that are unfavorable. Like kicking and screaming when you take them OUT of the bathtub...who does that?
I've talked about this with friends before and worry about it a lot. We as parents can raise our children in a happy home, take them to church, equip them with our highest knowledge, and yet they still have to make the choice to go right or left. I'm sure each person can name someone they know that was "raised right" that chose the wrong lane. Granted, we've all branched off the paved road and some have even gotten lost in the woods, but I'm talking about the people that choose the dirt path with roots tripping them along the way. This path, is the one I want to keep my kids from even hearing about.
Gus has a friend at school that is a little bit "dirt path" and he thinks this kid is so cool. This worries me. If my 4 year old already prefers trouble makers then I have reason to believe my corralling skills are going to have to sharpen to keep him not exactly on the straight and narrow but at least on the 4 lane.
No matter how hard we try as parents to steer our children, anytime they act out or someone else hears of something they've done, it immediately falls back on the "parenting" Ever heard "product of your raisin"? Basically, I'm trying to make a disclaimer that if my boys turn out bad, we did our best ok?
I've talked about this with friends before and worry about it a lot. We as parents can raise our children in a happy home, take them to church, equip them with our highest knowledge, and yet they still have to make the choice to go right or left. I'm sure each person can name someone they know that was "raised right" that chose the wrong lane. Granted, we've all branched off the paved road and some have even gotten lost in the woods, but I'm talking about the people that choose the dirt path with roots tripping them along the way. This path, is the one I want to keep my kids from even hearing about.
Gus has a friend at school that is a little bit "dirt path" and he thinks this kid is so cool. This worries me. If my 4 year old already prefers trouble makers then I have reason to believe my corralling skills are going to have to sharpen to keep him not exactly on the straight and narrow but at least on the 4 lane.
No matter how hard we try as parents to steer our children, anytime they act out or someone else hears of something they've done, it immediately falls back on the "parenting" Ever heard "product of your raisin"? Basically, I'm trying to make a disclaimer that if my boys turn out bad, we did our best ok?
Friday, August 19, 2011
Kids these days
"Gus-pick up your shoes and take them inside" "GASH! Do I have to do everything around here?" Yes son, you have to cook and clean and maintain this household.
There are days when you want to talk to your child like they are adults, but you gotta catch yourself and hold it in! He seems to be an adult most days. Gus has always been mature. Sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes, it bites us in the rear:) I'll tell him to keep his hands to himself and I get- But I gotta give you a hug with my hands Mamma. True, and I do love hugs.
He's very independent too. Always has been. He wants to do everything himself, which is normally fine, unless you are wanting to accomplish anything else that day. Pulling him out of the bed takes about 10 minutes. Getting dressed in the mornings is a 30 minute process. Brushing his teeth takes about 5 minutes. Eating breakfast is another 10-15 minutes. Putting shoes on is about 3 minutes. Then comes the rituals. Get a hug, kiss, noggin, Eskimo kiss, pirate kiss and then another hug. Grab his blanket and fight to get his chocolate milk out of his hand and then out the door. So, he needs to be up at 4am really. If you don't do these things in order, you're destined for a bad day. Or should I say, Pre-school is destined for a bad day. Which we try to avoid for teachers and other kids sake.
Simon seems to be maturing equally as fast. He now says "mama, guh, no, ball" He points and plays ball and peep-eye. When he plays peep-eye, sometimes only one eye gets covered all the way...but the pride he has when he pulls his hands away just melts my heart:) He's been walking for 2 1/2 months already and is fixing to turn 1 on 9/7. Where did the past year go? It doesn't matter how hard you try on a daily basis, you never can quite soak it all in. My memories of him being an infant are already fading. Gus being Simon's age is a distant memory.
Uncle and Abbey just brought Gus a "knife" back from Montana. Complete with a leather/fringed Indian pouch for it to be stored in. Last night he came into my room and said "If you see any alligators, you call me, and I'll come chop em up with my knife" Will do buddy! He slept all night with his knife in his bed. I felt safer.
There are days when you want to talk to your child like they are adults, but you gotta catch yourself and hold it in! He seems to be an adult most days. Gus has always been mature. Sometimes that's a good thing and sometimes, it bites us in the rear:) I'll tell him to keep his hands to himself and I get- But I gotta give you a hug with my hands Mamma. True, and I do love hugs.
He's very independent too. Always has been. He wants to do everything himself, which is normally fine, unless you are wanting to accomplish anything else that day. Pulling him out of the bed takes about 10 minutes. Getting dressed in the mornings is a 30 minute process. Brushing his teeth takes about 5 minutes. Eating breakfast is another 10-15 minutes. Putting shoes on is about 3 minutes. Then comes the rituals. Get a hug, kiss, noggin, Eskimo kiss, pirate kiss and then another hug. Grab his blanket and fight to get his chocolate milk out of his hand and then out the door. So, he needs to be up at 4am really. If you don't do these things in order, you're destined for a bad day. Or should I say, Pre-school is destined for a bad day. Which we try to avoid for teachers and other kids sake.
Simon seems to be maturing equally as fast. He now says "mama, guh, no, ball" He points and plays ball and peep-eye. When he plays peep-eye, sometimes only one eye gets covered all the way...but the pride he has when he pulls his hands away just melts my heart:) He's been walking for 2 1/2 months already and is fixing to turn 1 on 9/7. Where did the past year go? It doesn't matter how hard you try on a daily basis, you never can quite soak it all in. My memories of him being an infant are already fading. Gus being Simon's age is a distant memory.
Uncle and Abbey just brought Gus a "knife" back from Montana. Complete with a leather/fringed Indian pouch for it to be stored in. Last night he came into my room and said "If you see any alligators, you call me, and I'll come chop em up with my knife" Will do buddy! He slept all night with his knife in his bed. I felt safer.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Energetically tired
Feeling very tired today. Energetically tired. Does that make sense? My mind is energized, the rest of me is tired. As usual, I have spread myself thin and have entirely too much going on at one time.
We are moving a little bit every single day. I'm helping one of my dearest friends move. Our garden is overflowing. Picking up my sitter and taking her home everyday (till her car is fixed) Starting a new children's program at church. Unpacking and arranging the new place. Trying to catch up with my Dad before he goes out of town. Cleaning offices. Working 40 hours. Football practice. Oh, and being a mom.
We had the bright idea to move a little bit every day so that when it came to "moving day" it wouldn't be a mad rush to get everything done all at once. Because, if you know me, I'm not going to bed until everything has found a home. Lego's included. I still think it's a good idea. Just tiring every single day instead of one whole weekend. Hopefully we will be all done Friday and will be able to enjoy our weekend a bit:)
I laid in bed last night counting backward from 100...about 30 times and finally said to myself "forget it, just get up and pack" so I did. Until it's all done, I won't get any rest.
Gus and Simon keep me smiling and I know that it's worth it for them. They are going to enjoy their new space and Dusty and I will certainly enjoy our new sleep...Gus won't be able to wake Simon up when he's heading to bed..Simon won't wake Gus up when he gets up to eat. Ahhhhhhh...I hear the silence now!
I'm so excited to cook in my new kitchen and plan on using every dish in the house because I will have a dishwasher. Yeah buddy! Also, a bathtub! You just don't know how much I've missed soaking in the tub. As well as giving kids an actual bath and not a shower. Babies get slippery when wet.
Naptime.
We are moving a little bit every single day. I'm helping one of my dearest friends move. Our garden is overflowing. Picking up my sitter and taking her home everyday (till her car is fixed) Starting a new children's program at church. Unpacking and arranging the new place. Trying to catch up with my Dad before he goes out of town. Cleaning offices. Working 40 hours. Football practice. Oh, and being a mom.
We had the bright idea to move a little bit every day so that when it came to "moving day" it wouldn't be a mad rush to get everything done all at once. Because, if you know me, I'm not going to bed until everything has found a home. Lego's included. I still think it's a good idea. Just tiring every single day instead of one whole weekend. Hopefully we will be all done Friday and will be able to enjoy our weekend a bit:)
I laid in bed last night counting backward from 100...about 30 times and finally said to myself "forget it, just get up and pack" so I did. Until it's all done, I won't get any rest.
Gus and Simon keep me smiling and I know that it's worth it for them. They are going to enjoy their new space and Dusty and I will certainly enjoy our new sleep...Gus won't be able to wake Simon up when he's heading to bed..Simon won't wake Gus up when he gets up to eat. Ahhhhhhh...I hear the silence now!
I'm so excited to cook in my new kitchen and plan on using every dish in the house because I will have a dishwasher. Yeah buddy! Also, a bathtub! You just don't know how much I've missed soaking in the tub. As well as giving kids an actual bath and not a shower. Babies get slippery when wet.
Naptime.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Decisions
I remember when decisions were made for me and I hated it. Now, I'm glad to have a partner to make a decision with, or have made for me.
So many things change as you get older. When Dusty and I were dating, our biggest decisions were, where are we going to eat, what were we going to do this weekend, and what do we want to watch on TV. Now, we base decisions off of our marriage-what is best for us as a couple, our kids-where they will go to school, how our decisions effect them, etc. etc. and lately-my grandmother.
Being a live in "caretaker" for my grandmother has been a journey. She had a huge hand in raising my brother and I, and boy am I thankful to have had her and my grandfather. They taught us so much and kept us grounded. She is one of the sweetest people you will ever meet, and makes the best sweets around. Not to mention light fluffy buttermilk biscuits:) While she is super sweet, she is super stubborn. Pretty sure that's where I got my "strong will" She's funny about things being the way and the time she wants. She has certain people that she likes to do certain things. Even though we live in the same house, she wants Uncle Jimmy to bring her paper every morning and feed the dog (which we also feed, so he's happy) Only Jeremy can change light bulbs and do handy work. Abbey takes her to the grocery store. Dad takes her to the Dr. My uncle takes her to Belk's. I get her prescriptions and fight with reverse mortgage companies, and Dusty takes her the mail! She is lucky to have so many people, but really, we are the lucky ones.
As our family has grown, our space has become limited to say the least. We are ready for our own place. This is something we've been talking about since Simon was born. We've talked, prayed, listened, sought advice, and talked some more. Should we buy, should we build, should we rent? Should we even move at all? I promised my grandfather in my last words to him that I would take care of her. Would he be disappointed? This is not a decision that has been easy or hasn't been completely thought out. Probably over analyzed by me. I do think that she is well enough to live on her own. She already does-we just happen to be downstairs.
It's time though. Our family of 4 needs to be on our own. We've decided to rent for now and wait on the market and for $$$preschool$$$ to be completed by both boys before we buy/build. It used to bother me that Dusty was terrified of commitment, but in this case, I think he's pretty smart.
I'll still get to go and see Mammie everyday. Pick up Gus from school and stop by and take her the mail. Pick her up for church on Sunday's and then maybe out for lunch if she's up to it. Gonna be a tough transition for all of us. But I know it's the right thing for our family now.
Therapeutic writing...hoping this helps!
So many things change as you get older. When Dusty and I were dating, our biggest decisions were, where are we going to eat, what were we going to do this weekend, and what do we want to watch on TV. Now, we base decisions off of our marriage-what is best for us as a couple, our kids-where they will go to school, how our decisions effect them, etc. etc. and lately-my grandmother.
Being a live in "caretaker" for my grandmother has been a journey. She had a huge hand in raising my brother and I, and boy am I thankful to have had her and my grandfather. They taught us so much and kept us grounded. She is one of the sweetest people you will ever meet, and makes the best sweets around. Not to mention light fluffy buttermilk biscuits:) While she is super sweet, she is super stubborn. Pretty sure that's where I got my "strong will" She's funny about things being the way and the time she wants. She has certain people that she likes to do certain things. Even though we live in the same house, she wants Uncle Jimmy to bring her paper every morning and feed the dog (which we also feed, so he's happy) Only Jeremy can change light bulbs and do handy work. Abbey takes her to the grocery store. Dad takes her to the Dr. My uncle takes her to Belk's. I get her prescriptions and fight with reverse mortgage companies, and Dusty takes her the mail! She is lucky to have so many people, but really, we are the lucky ones.
As our family has grown, our space has become limited to say the least. We are ready for our own place. This is something we've been talking about since Simon was born. We've talked, prayed, listened, sought advice, and talked some more. Should we buy, should we build, should we rent? Should we even move at all? I promised my grandfather in my last words to him that I would take care of her. Would he be disappointed? This is not a decision that has been easy or hasn't been completely thought out. Probably over analyzed by me. I do think that she is well enough to live on her own. She already does-we just happen to be downstairs.
It's time though. Our family of 4 needs to be on our own. We've decided to rent for now and wait on the market and for $$$preschool$$$ to be completed by both boys before we buy/build. It used to bother me that Dusty was terrified of commitment, but in this case, I think he's pretty smart.
I'll still get to go and see Mammie everyday. Pick up Gus from school and stop by and take her the mail. Pick her up for church on Sunday's and then maybe out for lunch if she's up to it. Gonna be a tough transition for all of us. But I know it's the right thing for our family now.
Therapeutic writing...hoping this helps!
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
It's just different
Trying to explain to Dusty how a mother's love is different is impossible. He tries to get it, but no man can really get it.
When your child is first born, those cries physically hurt you. You ache to hold your baby and make everything ok. Leaving them for the first time is equally as painful. By pain I mean, your heart hurts, your head hurts because of the cluster of thoughts, the guilt, the concerns, fear and love. All of these things cause true pain. There is no way to describe the bond formed by a mother and child. It is literally indescribable. Growing a human is the greatest gift, but boy does it have it's consequences.
The one I try most often to hide and explain, is the emotional toll. I can not watch a flippin Tide commercial without crying. If there is a child involved, there are tears for me. If I hear a sweet song, I cry. If I hear another mother's story, I'm having a breakdown. Uncontrollable emotions. Then, I get mad that I'm crying. Emotions triggering emotions. Beyond frustrating.
Simon is the sweetest little baby. He takes after his daddy in every way possible. The same blue/green eyes, the same build, the same head shape, and the same tender heart. Granted, Dusty doesn't cry when he's hungry-but he comes really close sometimes. Baby Simon gets his feelings hurt when you take something away from him. He cries when I set him down. He looses his breath when I walk out of the room. I do not get mad or blame him, because I created this. I wanted him to be my little baby. I let him sleep on me as much as possible when I was home...and still do.
I don't mind eating cold food because he wants his mamma. He won't be this way for long. Dusty is going to have pals for life. They aren't going to call me for advice. I'll embarrass them and they'll hate me for making them clean their rooms. Plus all these girls they date will not receive warm welcomes from me. So I choose to take my time with them now, while they still like 'ol Mom. Before they are embarrassed to be seen with me, or near me.
Being a mom is just different. You love far beyond your own boundaries, and then a little past that. You worry about things that are completely out of your control,, things that may not ever happen,, and things that have already happened.
When your child is first born, those cries physically hurt you. You ache to hold your baby and make everything ok. Leaving them for the first time is equally as painful. By pain I mean, your heart hurts, your head hurts because of the cluster of thoughts, the guilt, the concerns, fear and love. All of these things cause true pain. There is no way to describe the bond formed by a mother and child. It is literally indescribable. Growing a human is the greatest gift, but boy does it have it's consequences.
The one I try most often to hide and explain, is the emotional toll. I can not watch a flippin Tide commercial without crying. If there is a child involved, there are tears for me. If I hear a sweet song, I cry. If I hear another mother's story, I'm having a breakdown. Uncontrollable emotions. Then, I get mad that I'm crying. Emotions triggering emotions. Beyond frustrating.
Simon is the sweetest little baby. He takes after his daddy in every way possible. The same blue/green eyes, the same build, the same head shape, and the same tender heart. Granted, Dusty doesn't cry when he's hungry-but he comes really close sometimes. Baby Simon gets his feelings hurt when you take something away from him. He cries when I set him down. He looses his breath when I walk out of the room. I do not get mad or blame him, because I created this. I wanted him to be my little baby. I let him sleep on me as much as possible when I was home...and still do.
I don't mind eating cold food because he wants his mamma. He won't be this way for long. Dusty is going to have pals for life. They aren't going to call me for advice. I'll embarrass them and they'll hate me for making them clean their rooms. Plus all these girls they date will not receive warm welcomes from me. So I choose to take my time with them now, while they still like 'ol Mom. Before they are embarrassed to be seen with me, or near me.
Being a mom is just different. You love far beyond your own boundaries, and then a little past that. You worry about things that are completely out of your control,, things that may not ever happen,, and things that have already happened.
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