Mommie struggles

Every single day of Mommyhood presents new challenges. My life is no exception to this rule, by far. Most of my friends are mothers to one child. I noticed this more when I became pregnant with Simon. Was everyone else smarter than us? Were they on to something? Was I going to be able to do this? In an earlier blog, I expressed my fears of 2 children. How to juggle, share, feed and clothe. I've noticed that adding a childing doesn't just add to your load, somehow it quadruples your load, and subtracts from your brain.
An example is getting ready for church on Sunday's. With one child you get 3 people ready and pack a small bag. With two children, you start packing bags and bathing on Saturday night just to show up half-way through Sunday school. You hand off the baby, take the toddler to his class and sit in a tiny chair pretending like you're going to hang around. You excuse yourself "to the potty" and don't go back. Get half-way upstairs and remember you didn't tell them when the baby ate or was changed and what's in the bag. Go back down and explain your brain was not in the bag you packed last night and head back to your class. Sit down and grab your tea that you lovingly prepared, only you forgot the teabag so it's hot water with sugar and milk...mmm.
I do not complain because I understand and am thankful for my two beautiful blessings. I blog about it because I think we mommie's have struggles internally about our children everyday. I wonder when the boys are going to cast me aside for a girl, how they'll call their dad and ask for advice and say-don't tell mom. We can love them as much and as hard as we want to for now, but they'll grow up and move out all the same. I worry about everything that Gus is going through with sensory integration disorder. I worry that we "caused it" Did we spank too early? Did we hold him enough? Were we too quick to anger? All we can do as parents is learn from our mistakes, just the same way that we tell our children to do. "Don't do that again!"
Being a stay at home mom now, I'm learning how to relax and enjoy more. Being a working mom, I was always so rushed with our schedule and the next thing on the list. It was a rush from the moment I got home from picking Gus up, getting dinner ready, cleaning dishes, packing bags and lunches, bath time, bedtime and the day was done. I didn't make time to go to church because I used my family as an excuse, when all the while we would have still have family time for the one whole hour of church. I couldn't just sit on the porch and watch Gus play, or push him in the swing, go for a walk and throw sticks in the river, without thinking of what I had to do next.
We all need to give ourselves permission to stop and slow down, enjoy these blessings God has given us. I'd rather have an overactive toddler that bounces off the walls than one that can't walk. I'd rather have my chunky little baby than one that can't gain weight for medical reasons. In every complaint, someone else would be jealous. "One woman's floor is another woman's ceiling"