"The Day"

Back in "the day" I used to go to Wal-mart and just lolly-gag around looking at all they had to offer. Finding good deals on end caps that were in low travel areas, and just taking my time. Now, I wait till I'm out of everything I could possibly need from Wal-mart before attempting to go with a 3 year old. Here's a little scenario of what a trip is like now.
I tell him to stay close to Mommie or ride in the buggy. I'll stay close he tells me. Liar. So he's running in and out of the clothes racks, out in front of people who then make black marks on the floor with their shoes trying to "hit their brakes" and not my kid. So I'm apologizing to them and giving him the evil eye and a speech about "watch where you're going son" which promptly goes in one ear and out the other. Then he picks up things...not things you want him to pick up. Pantyhose in the little clear plastic containers. The same containers they sell toys in out in their foyer. Put those down....no I want them. Whatever, I obviously can't catch you so just carry them around. Then I find a pair of Buzz Lightyear water shoes/flip flop combo set. This is great, now I can put down the flip flops I got at the front that I didn't really like to begin with. But, what size water shoe? Ok, sit up here on these boxes of sodas while I try these shoes on you. So he's screaming telling me one size is too small, so I go to the next size up- way to big. Just bear with me son and get this shoe on your foot. Why am I sweating and where is my breath??
So then, I'm looking for travel size items for our upcomming vacation and he's telling me he wants to go look at the lawnmowers. But not once...he's telling me over and over and over. I go to wipe my eye and feel my contact lens go up into my lid. Lawnmowers mommie, let me just find my eye, lawnmowers mommie, people are staring of course. Find my contact and extract it, lawnmowers, get the contact straightened out, lawnmowers mommie, and back into my eye. On to view the fantastic lawnmowers...
Moving on down the aisles. I get to the dreaded toy section, which I just had to pass and what is loaded up on the 2ft tall shelf? Everything Toy Story could possibly market. He grabs the giant Rex which is on sale for $19.99. Son, you have to put that back, Mommie can't afford that. NOOOOO!! I WANT IT!!! And then takes off running. Well after a long day and some severe pelvic arthropathy going on, I can only walk bent over the shopping cart, so chasing him isn't happening. He'll come back. So I tell him goodbye and he comes running. I explain calmly that Mommie can't afford that dinosaur right now and maybe Daddy will bring him back and buy it for him(thus placing all of the blame and guilt onto Dusty) So we put it back on the shelf. BUZZ- IT'S BIIIIG BUZZ. Now he's found a $39.99 Buzz Lightyear, and I begin to pray.